To Thy Own Self Be True

I think just about anyone who is a parent laments those moments in our parenting relationship when we open our mouths and hear our mother or father come out at times when we had hoped to live into our relationship differently. We were sure and certain when we were children that we would ‘not do that’ or ‘be that way’ when we grew up.  And yet, it is hard to escape the sphere of influence encompassed in what and how we live with others.  It is I sense an intricate aspect of what makes it hard to identify our true selves and harder still to identify our life’s calling. We find our calling through our own authentic selves, by being who we are, by being present in the world as who we are rather than as someone others want us to be. It is answering these essential question; “Who am I? What is my nature?” that leads us to our true selves.

Everything has a nature, which informs and provides limits as well as potentials.  Nature is part of the medium we must work with to achieve our potential.  Being in relationship with the self helps us have insight into what we can and cannot do— when we disconnect from that and do not take it into account, we often struggle.  If we live life without understanding the gifts of the self we are working with in and of ourselves we live in danger of establishing an inauthentic life.  When we chose to live separately from our true or real self in the service of pleasing others, or for economic gain we squelch the authentic self which leads to a sense of imbalance in life. 

Whatever the state of our relationship to our inner self, our children measure it through our actions as much as any words we use.  It is good in the quest for living an authentic life to ensure that who we are connects to our daily work.  What follows is a wonderful reflection of how we inadvertently teach our children how to identify their authentic self by sharing ours.

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking     author unknown

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on
the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I
learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for
me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in
life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew
that there is a Higher Power I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in
that.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to
a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care
of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and
money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have
something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and
everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are
given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your
responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I
would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and
I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to
be everything that I could be

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that
I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,
Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

The Magic of Those Who Care

Our goal is not so much the imparting of knowledge as the unveiling and developing of spiritual energy.  Montessori   

Not for the first time as a school head I find occasion to appreciate and savor the profound levels of care and nurturing that unfold all around me through teachers in their excellent and I think, loving work with students.  It is a gift to value and, as many of my peers reflect, a unique and genuine aspect of a good teacher – rooted in character and personal integrity.  Not I sense, something that can be imparted in a teacher training process and more perhaps, the palpable surfacing of a vocation for teaching. I am aware of the striking joy, impressive certainty, unremitting faith and high standards for the self and compassion toward others that is lovingly practiced on a daily basis.  Most beautiful to me is the sense that teachers are inspired by a sense of gratitude for the opportunity to fulfill their own human and spiritual potential.

As I listen to teachers speaking about students, as I watch teachers in action with learners, I notice a true spirit of respect and companionship in the learning process that gently holds and furthers the promise of each child.  The potency of seeing the world in a child and the value of contributing to our world through our most precious resource – our children – once again emerges and moves to the forefront of our collective consciousness.  Of course, we endeavor to imbue all we do with a profound respect born of this awareness of the difference each of us makes in this world.

Authentic teaching wants to open us to truth - whatever it is, however we find it, wherever it may take us. Teaching in this way does not mandate where the learner must go, but rather encourages a student to welcome diversity, to accept conflict, to tolerate ambiguity, and to embrace paradox.  It is about examining and clarifying the inner sources of teaching and learning, opening our hearts and minds – teacher and student- as we find ourselves in and with each other. It originates in knowledge as compassion and as love. Talented faculty and staff live into a commitment to care for learners by teaching minds, touching hearts and transforming lives, encouraging authentic and spontaneous relations with the world.

Under the tutelage of those who care school becomes a magical learning community.  I am filled with a sense of wonder in the face of this prevailing sense of good all around me as we recognize something new in ourselves and each other - human simplicity, human love and the humility to be ourselves.

Give Hope Always

I frequently enjoy reflecting on school leadership with friends who serve as school leaders.  Recently, I had occasion to speak with a friend who is a Montessori school head about the demands of our roles as leaders, the balance of classroom life, teachers-students-parents, governance, vision and managing the school’s many constituents. We spoke just prior to Thanksgiving to postpone once again getting together owing to the hectic pace of work.  Somewhere in the midst of venting about job stress our focus shifted in our mutual desire to buoy each other and we began affirming and re-affirming the underlying importance and value of the work we do in the lives of children.  And so it is that hope for the possibilities of our daily work once more usurped our contemplation of the many obstacles we confront.   I left the conversation feeling better, more energized and ready to carry on – hopeful.

When hope leaches out of education, it is important to remind ourselves that education is premised on hope and that educators need to work hard to reveal opportunities to promote hope, no matter what the obstacles may be.  Hope, after all, safeguards us against falling into indifference in the face of tough going, which is why teachers cannot responsibly abandon it in their work in schools. They not only need to take hope seriously and seek to personify it in their actions, they must also find ways of nurturing it among students and colleagues - especially now given that our worlds, privately, nationally and globally, are complicated by persistent uncertainty.  To teach how to live with uncertainty, and yet without being thwarted by indecision, is one of the things a good education offers. It recognizes popular knowledge and cultural content as points of departure for the knowledge that learners and hopeful ideas create of the world. Hope is a vital spiritual energy and a remedy for lassitude and apathy.  Education encourages hope, encourages feeling competent - able to act, able to change things, or even to create them.  It is powerful to learn that today you can begin to do something you could not do yesterday. 

Being hopeful also involves the notion that something good, which does not presently apply to our world, is still conceivable.  Therefore, hope has a creative role in the development of imaginative solutions to ostensibly insurmountable difficulties. In this regard, hope is about success rather than failure.  It envisions potentials and opportunities not yet present; and, more than this, it anticipates and shapes the terrain for something new.

I love that my friends and colleagues are willing to offer me hope always – hope that I can make a difference; hope that there is value in all we do; hope that we can achieve the impossible if we are willing to attempt the absurd – together.

“Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all.”  Emily Dickinson